Scene i: Brett Favre's house, around 1:30 AM Halloween night. Brett awakes to the stench of shellfish and stale seal meat. The only reason Brett knows what seal meat smells like is because he has killed seal before. To survive. (Oh and this picture has nothing to do with the story)Ragnar: (in the pitch black of Brett's bedroom) Wakey. Bretty.
Deanna Favre: Oh God! Who is that Brett?
Brett: Ragnar, is that you?
Ragnar: Maybe.
Brett: I know it's you Ragnar.
Ragnar: OK.
Brett: Good. Now...what are you doing here? Whatever you need...take it...
Ragnar: I need. I need you Brett...
Brett: Well you can't have me Ragnar. You have a wife...a wife who loves you.
Ragnar: She doesn't have what I need.
Brett: What's that Ragnar?
Ragnar: A Halloween costume.
Brett: Halloween's almost over Ragnar. You should just go home and get some rest. Would you like tickets to my game on Sunday? Huh, pal?
Ragnar: BRETT! You aren't listening! (appears from out of the darkness wielding an axe, creeping ever closer) I need a Halloween costume! I need you!
Brett: Ragnar! Stop right there. One more step and I'll have to stop you. I don't want to do that Ragnar.
Ragnar: Whatever you say Brett. Happy Halloween...(disappears back into a dark corner of Brett's room)
Brett: Are you still there Ragnar?
Ragnar: Yeah....should I just go out the front?
Brett: Alright.
Scene ii: Brett's House around 2:00 AM Halloween night. Brett is driven from his dormancy by the screams of his wife and children outside. He looks out his window to see a man lying in his front yard while a yellow and purple van speeds away. Brett hurries to the front yard and sees that the man lying in the grass is missing an arm from the elbow down.
Brett: Are you okay? What happened? Where did he take them?
Greg the Camera Man: I don't know where they're going...Aggghhh! My arm! I tried... I tried to stop him. Ahhhhh! Call an ambulance!
Brett: Good idea, but the authorities will be too slow to handle this situation. I have to save my family myself. (sprints off into the night at a speed unreachable even in his younger years)
Greg: No, Brett! For my arm! (to himself) Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccck this hurts. Ahhhhhhhh....no service! God I wish I had The Network! I just hate that stupid glasses guy sooooooooo much...Uggggggghhhhhh!!!
Scene iii: Outside Ragnar's viking cave. Brett has applied war paint to his face. The cave is surrounded by thick forest. A slew of viking warriors surround the cave wielding axes and other assorted melee weapons. Some say Brett's beard is that silvery color because it is made of steel, like Wolverine but less metro. (Snapple cap fact)
Brett: (to himself high in a tree) When you're pushed...Killing is as easy as breathing.
WARNING: Brett has NO qualms about killing in this video. VERY violent.
Oh I thought that movie was "Brett Favre," not "John Rambo." Anyway Brett kills all those dudes and finds Ragnar in the cave holding his family hostage with an axe.
Brett: (covered in blood) Give me back my family Ragnar. I'm only going to ask once.
Ragnar: I neeeeeeed a Halloween costume BRETT!
Brett: Be fucking Buzz Lightyear!
Deanna Favre: Brett! Not in front of the children.
Brett: Oh, right. Be gosh darned Buzz Lightyear.
Ragnar: I was thinking something maybe a little more creative. You know, a little more original. I was thinking maybe...like a gay NASCAR driver or something.
Brett: Sounds great. Can I have my family now?
Ragnar: Fine. Wait! No, one kiss too.
Brett: You want me to kiss you Ragnar? Hmmmm. If I kiss you will you leave me and my family alone forever?
Ragnar: Yes.
Brett: Fine. (Going in for the kiss he slits Ragnar's throat with his metallic beard. So Snapple cap facts are true!) Happy Halloween Ragnar. (to his family) C'mon guys, who wants some IHOP?
Brett's Children: Yaaaay!
Deanna: I love you honey.
Brett: I know.
THE END.
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