Smith, Harris Smith

I agree, it is absolutely hilarious that Plaxico thought that he could deceive NEW YORK doctors, who probably watch more football than he does, into thinking that he was just a regular six foot seven inch black man who happened to look like the infamous NEW YORK Giant Plaxico Burress. And I agree, it is all well and good to make fun of him for being retarded and wearing sweatpants with a gun in the waistband (I can't even get my wallet to stay in that shit, let alone a .40 caliber glock), and shooting himself in the leg. What I disagree with is the NFL and all of its phony analysts.

When I read about Plax's fellow New York Giant wide-receiver Steve Smith getting robbed at gunpoint outside his own house, I began to think maybe the NFL should start looking at the bigger picture. Hell, they should have started looking at the bigger picture back when Adam "Pac-man" Jones was doing this shit. Instead of laying the blame upon the players themselves for being generally stupid and not registering their weapons, and putting these weapons in sweatpants, and shooting themselves in one of the two legs that they need for their profession, and then going to hospitals with fake names, maybe we should look at why these players are doing these things.

While the economy plunges like a bullet into a thigh of recession, and while most of America's income is as reliable as a sweatpants waistband, there is one thing that is as constant as a gun while its safety is off, and that is a professional athletes salary. This fact, coupled with the way that athletes stand out in a crowd of normal sized people makes them an extremely likely target for muggings.

I don't have the answer for what the NFL should do about their player's safety, but I sure hope Plax doesn't get any jail time. It's bad enough that he shot himself in the leg, he shouldn't be sent to jail just for looking out for his own safety.