There's Requirements!

Tracy Morgan in "Totally Awesome". I'm sure the rest of the movie was awful. Same goes for First Sunday. I can't wait until Tracy Morgan is in a movie that is worth watching all the way through. Oh and since we're on the subject of Tracy Morgan, might as well get some Doug Flutie.

Mitchell Report...Yay

Hey, look at the bright side, at least we won't have to see Roger Clemens in any more stupid commercials.

Now that the Micthell Report has accused all of baseball to be on steroids I have finally come to the realization that baseball sucks unless you pump it full of HGH. Even then it still sucks because everybody cries about how much more boring it could be without artificial enhancement. Baseball should just allow steroids if just for better entertainment and less 24/7 complaining on ESPN. Well now that this ex-Illinois senator ruined baseball for everyone we can maybe realize how fucked up not having playoffs in college football is? Please?

Dear Falcons...

Atlanta Falcons ex-head coach Bobby Petrino really was bummed about Michael Vick's 23 month sentence (for 23 dog stranglings) and he hated seeing 6 people in the stands in Atlanta on Monday Night Football so he couldn't wait to get out of that shit hole and go to a really awesome place: Arkansas!

Dear Atlanta Guys,

Look I seriously had no idea all this shit was gonna happen. I was coach for like a week then Michael Vick went to jail. I'm really sorry but that dude was totally this entire team. I could have sworn I put a Vick Jail=Bobby Leave clause in my contract. Who cares. Anyway I'm shipping out to Arkansas 'cause its preeeetty cool there. They have Darren McFadden. That guy is good, let me tell you. He's been 2nd place in Heisman voting like two years in a row. I'm totally gonna kick ass there. So yeah, what week are we in? Whatever, it's best for my family for me to go, becaaaaauuuuuussse uhhhhhhh....Arkansas is Da Bomb, lemme tell you. Don't be too sad I'm going 'cause Emmitt Smith is the new coach. He's cool. I wish I could have finished this season with you guys...but some circumstances...didn't it rain yesterday? Yeah, that's why I can't do this any more. This weather sucks.

Peace homies, Bobby P

P.S. If Vick gets on Prison Break, Tivo it for me. It's totally gonna happen.


[Thanks to KSK for the picture]

Stephon, or Stephen?

Could it be that I have been fooled all along? Is Stephen A. Smith actually just Stephon Marbury or vice versa? In this video I can't tell the difference. Either Starbury is a really good actor, or Starbury is actually Stephen A. Smith, or Starbury is actually a messenger sent from the Lord. I suppose we'll have to wait for Judegment Day to figure that one out.

Worst Season Ever?

The Patriots have made every game uninteresting, one of my favorite players of all time has passed away (I think Bill Belichick did it), Ricky Williams returned for all of two plays until Lawrence Timmons stepped on his back ending his season.

Why don't I just watch college football you ask? Well maybe because Tostitos sucks and I hate them for making Capitalism ruin sports. Who's playing in the Orange Bowl? I don't know because I'm too busy mailing oranges to people using Fed-Ex. Oh it's Kansas and Virginia Tech? Wonderful. I can't wait for one of them to be victorious over the other. Tostitos Fiesta Bowl might be good?I don't believe you.

There have been some good things this season though. Brett Favre's drinking buddy Koren Robinson returned to the Packers. Ricky Williams played two downs. Adrian Peterson is the Maroon King of Men. Aaaaaaannnndddddd Pac-Man Jones is starring in a remake of Rain Man. Definately, definately.